America Crawls On Dunkins

Dunkin Donuts certainly has an affect on America. Not only does it serve a medium latte with as many calories as a weight lifter's protein shake, it has also become the new paradigm of choice for the proletariat. It is the modern stage of the impoverished, granting anyone who steps under the spotlight, i.e. reaches the front of line, absolute control, the power to ask unnecessary questions about the cuisine, order intricate iced fruit drinks that have no business in a coffee shop and attempt to negotiate a menu that is already broken down into #1, #2, #3....

It gives Americans the power to do what they do best: hold up lines.

I just spent ten minutes behind an older gentleman in my neighborhood D&Ds. He was already in conversation with the young Haitian man behind the counter when I walked in, at 8:40 PM. The man spoke softly so I couldn't clearly hear the exchange, but I believe it had something to do with the chicken salad sandwich because the Haitian employee kept walking back toward the wall menu and gesturing at it and nodding his head. This? No. This? No. This? No.

Exactly what they were talking about I'll never know, nor can I possibly imagine. If you have dietary restrictions, don't go to Dunkin Donuts. If you care about ingredients, again, don't go to D&Ds for anything other than coffee. If you have questions about the menu, please, don't go to Dunkin Donuts. Don't ask how big the ham and cheese sandwich is, don't ask how fresh the donuts are, don't ask how much something is with tax, and don't ask how many calories are in a packet of Sweet and Low. It's a coffee shop, for Christ's sake. Not a platform for your Constitutional right to be an asshole.

Thank you,
The Management